David and I celebrated 13 years together on February 23. In gay years that’s like 40, so the joke goes. The truth is, I know many LGBTQ couples whose relationships make ours seem hardly worth mentioning. I’m thinking of a more than one couple who have 40+ years and several who have 20+ years.
I recall when David and I were first dating and I would hear of some couple who had been together 8 years. We would marvel in awe at their long-term-relationship. It seemed so rare and magical. Now that we are over a decade in, people often ask us about our relationship and what makes it work. I do NOT claim to be a relationship expert. I only know what does and does not work for us. I firmly believe that every relationship is unique because the people involved in that relationship are unique. There is no template.
However, I do believe we can all learn from one another’s relationships. I think the key is finding what works and what doesn’t and being open to embracing both of those even if they go against our ideals, societal expectations, or preconceived notions.
I’m going to start posting some “Relationship Realities” for your consideration. They will be gleaned from personal experience, and interviews with other couples. Don't view them as advice, but rather as insight into the journey of a relationship. Read them with an open heart and mind.
Today I share with you the wisdom from my own husband, David:
“In any relationship, one of two things is going to happen: you’re either going to grow closer together or farther apart. How you communicate, what you do, what you say, how you respond to adversity, is going to contribute to one of those outcomes.”
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